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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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 Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:40 am
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My wife made me sit through "The Lake House". It is the ultimate chick flick and I hated every second of it. It's a sappy romance where Sandra Bullock, a lonely doctor, who once lived in a lakeside home begins exchanging love letters with its former resident, Keanu Reeves a frustrated architect. There's a twist where it turns out that Bullock is two years in the future and her letters are going back in time to Reeves.
It's horrid beyond belief. I need to watch a guy movie or I'll go nuts
www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7J6dRkJjOI
Ahhhh...I'm feeling better.
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Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:04 pm
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Have you ever noticed that every time a mosque gets blown up in the middle east, the news reporter always says it was one of the holiest sites in whatever country it got destroyed in?
How can they ALL be so holy? Just once I'd like to see a newscast and hear this:
| Quote: | Anchor Man: Bad news tonight. A suspected shoe bomber targeting a Shi'ite imam who criticised Abu Musab al Zarqawi has blown himself up inside one of Baghdad's holiest Shi'ite mosques, killing at least 13 people and wounding nearly 30. Let's go to Tyrone Johnson, our man on the scene. Ty, I here this was one of the holiest mosques in Iraq?
Tyrone: Well..not really. I seen dudes eatin' bacon and shootin' dice in there last night. This guy Muhammed told me women be washin' their hair all out in the open too. Plus, you can get any DVD you wanted. I was going to buy "Soul Plane" before they blew this joint up.
Anchor Man: Uh... |
Yup that would be cool
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Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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thought-showers
Level 12
Joined: 07/09/2006
Last Visit: 09/08/2010
Posts: 4242
Location: Michigan
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Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:18 pm
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| Ooooooooohhhhh....Mongo you are asking for it. Good thing this board is private! (Keep your mouth shut, Yeager.) |
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thought-showers
Level 12
Joined: 07/09/2006
Last Visit: 09/08/2010
Posts: 4242
Location: Michigan
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Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:57 pm
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| I graduated with 43 people from a tiny high school in northern Michigan. There were three of us with the same first name...not a terribly common first name either (although not a strange one either). But one of the other girls with the same first name was born in the same hospital as me. In Orange, California. What are the odds? |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:01 pm
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That's so strange. I wonder what the odds of people having the same first name in such a small class size?
But back to the "holy" thing...they should just stop saying that such and such mosque is "one of the holiest" in the Middle East. How do you quantify something like that?
Do you get forty five virgins when you die at one mosque as opposed to thirteen at another when you blow up innocent children because you can’t stand the capitalistic dominated, morally bankrupt, Zionist supporting infidels of the USA...or that someone drew an unflattering picture of Muhammad...or you're pissed because you saw some woman's ankle while she was learning to read a book?
Okay, NOW I'm asking for it.
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Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 1:53 pm
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I was reading a blog and some guy posted this:
| Quote: | | as long as studying and excelling in school is considered selling out to whitey..... |
I'm not going to comment on the substance of his argument. I just want to know why:
MANY WHITE PEOPLE THINK BLACK FOLKS USE THE TERM "WHITEY"?
I haven't heard a black person say that in about forty years. In fact I think the only black person to say it was George Jefferson.
There was a controversey brewing during President Obama campaign run that Michele made some speech where she said blacks "Blame whitey" for our economic condition.
I knew this was a lie from the pit of hell because black people don't use that term.
It just bugs me.
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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DarkStar
Level 10
Joined: 11/07/2005
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2169
Location: Maryland
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Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 6:44 pm
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| Mongo_Slade wrote: |
I knew this was a lie from the pit of hell because black people don't use that term.
It just bugs me. |
The moment I read something where that line is used, I stop reading it because it's trash. |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 2:25 pm
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Did you know that 7-11 is going to start selling their own brand of beer? It'll be called "Gameday" and be marketed as "A premium beer at a discount price".
Let's get real. Only winos, the clinically insane and college kids will drink this swill. 7-11 needs to embrace that and re-name it "Backwash". The beer for when you just don't give a f***.
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Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 7:52 pm
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When does CPR become necrophilia?
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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Alphagreg1906
Level 12
Joined: 03/28/2008
Last Visit: 08/31/2010
Posts: 2431
Location: Atlanta, GA
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Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 8:16 am
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| When rigomordous (wrong spelling I know) sets in. |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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thought-showers
Level 12
Joined: 07/09/2006
Last Visit: 09/08/2010
Posts: 4242
Location: Michigan
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thought-showers
Level 12
Joined: 07/09/2006
Last Visit: 09/08/2010
Posts: 4242
Location: Michigan
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 9:33 am
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Thank you for that! I need to laugh because this cardinal died in the bush in front of my house and my wife is making me reach in there and get it out. Nasty.
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 11:41 am
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Man, I tried picking up the bird nest with the dead cardinal in it but I dropped him on the ground and when he hit, he fell apart. Yuck.
But...my cousin Gordie says he saw three worse things in the hood just last week:
1) A crack head trying to breast feed a rat
2) A pigeon fighting a toddler
3) A prostitute stabbing a clown.
I think he just watched Tracey Morgan on "30 Rock", but I let him slide.
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Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 6:50 am
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These people are now grandparents:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AytWOmJtQ8I&feature=related
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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Alphagreg1906
Level 12
Joined: 03/28/2008
Last Visit: 08/31/2010
Posts: 2431
Location: Atlanta, GA
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 7:24 am
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Man they stole all my moves!!  |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:28 pm
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I was on Facebook, and this girl I knew in college contacted me. I had such a thing for her back then. Asked her out on what I thought was a date.
To make a long story short, she said I was "too nice" to date and if she ever got a boyfriend, she would want him to be just like me. Not me but just like me.
If you ask any single man what he'd rather have:
1) A lifelong platonic female friend who you can share experiences and feelings with OR:
2) The same girl but you have great sex, get into a horrible fight and then she hates your f'ing guts and would shoot you down like a dog in the street if she ever saw you again.
Most guys will pick number 2.
When you're single, what dude wants a female friend? I've got friends bitch. You got something else I want.
Anyway, this video I found--while hurtful--is really funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilOx2Jmm1r4&feature=related
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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truthseeker
Level 12
Joined: 03/22/2007
Last Visit: 08/31/2010
Posts: 6789
Location: USA
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:36 pm
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| Mong, are you these two chicks' agent or something? (wink) |
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truthseeker
Level 12
Joined: 03/22/2007
Last Visit: 08/31/2010
Posts: 6789
Location: USA
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Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:42 pm
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| Mongo_Slade wrote: |
If you ask any single man what he'd rather have:
1) A lifelong platonic female friend who you can share experiences and feelings with OR:
2) The same girl but you have great sex, get into a horrible fight and then she hates your f'ing guts and would shoot you down like a dog in the street if she ever saw you again.
Most guys will pick number 2.
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If the chick is ugly, or got a body like Oprah or something, I'll always take # 1 over # 2. If the ugly fat ass is cool I'm saying.
But if she's ugly and has a jacked up bitchy personality, then like Martin Lawrence used to say, she can "get to steppin'." I have no time or inclination to have any type of relationship with that kind of hag.
Oh yeah speaking of ugly hags, I did see what you posted about Omarosa on the "Movies/Television" board. And I'm surprised to hear that she looks good in person.
You weren't drunk when you saw her were you? (smile) |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 11:27 am
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T/S 2 says:
| Quote: | | I did see what you posted about Omarosa on the "Movies/Television" board. And I'm surprised to hear that she looks good in person. |
Dude, she's a miserable human being but she's definately doable. You might have to kill her in the morning because she's such a BITCH, but Omarosa's got it going on.
T/s 2 says:
| Quote: | | Mong, are you these two chicks' agent or something? |
Uh...they are kind of whack...but that short one with the dark hair...is the prettiest ugly woman I've ever seen. She looks like a cross between McKenzie Phillips and a duck...but she's cute.
I'm sort of embarrassed that I like their music but I do.
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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truthseeker
Level 12
Joined: 03/22/2007
Last Visit: 08/31/2010
Posts: 6789
Location: USA
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Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:44 am
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| LMAO @ your entire post man. The Omarosa morning after murder, and the Mackenzie Phillips bit. (smile) |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 1:20 pm
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My wife calls me from work and starts complaining that I don't write her poetry anymore. WTF? Where's this coming from? Once you give me your love, the poetry stops. Anyway, I sent her this Haiku:
Eyes like an oil slick
A mouth like a pelican
Scrubbed her with my love
Now she won't talk to me.
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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cratze
Level 5
Joined: 12/20/2008
Last Visit: 08/13/2010
Posts: 1131
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 4:12 pm
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| Mongo_Slade wrote: | My wife calls me from work and starts complaining that I don't write her poetry anymore. WTF? Where's this coming from? Once you give me your love, the poetry stops. Anyway, I sent her this Haiku:
Eyes like an oil slick
A mouth like a pelican
Scrubbed her with my love
Now she won't talk to me. |
_________________
Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire. Oskar Schindler
"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." ~Mother Theresa |
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Mongo_Slade
Level 12
Joined: 03/23/2006
Last Visit: 09/01/2010
Posts: 2458
Location: Mitchellville, MD
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Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:38 pm
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There's this woman named Michelle Dugger who just had her 19th child. NINETEEN!
Mrs. Dugger needs to listen to the words of Groucho Marx:
| Quote: | | Lady, I love my cigars...but I take them out of my mouth every once in awhile. |
_________________
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and a great big bag of money. |
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